The Ultimate Guide to Break Free From Social Anxiety
No More Freakouts. Become Completely Confident & Relaxed in Any Social Setting
Hi everyone; Guys & Girls..
We are in a very bad time.. (Not exaggerating)
A Social Anxiety Crisis
Everyone freaks out at the idea starting a conversation; Everyone genuinely believes they’re awkward ,or boring; Few make any friends past high school.. Many freak out to the mere idea of answering/making a phone call. Most shit their pants at the idea of public speaking. Etc..
In short.. Social anxiety has reached an unprecedented level
And this mostly manifests in how everyone’s thirsting for genuine interaction, wants to be spoken to, flirted with, and given the opportunity spice up their life
And yet.. Everyone is just too terrified of just doing a bit of small talk
So they just walk through avoiding most of social interactions/situations (expect maybe the ones with people they know & are comfortable with)
Worse?
Recent advances in technologies obviously doesn’t make it any better (due to its minimization of overall social interactions:
-You can get your food delivered
-You can do your shopping online
-You can find dates on applications
-You can work from your house
-You can socialize, if you can really call it that way from your house (aka; social media, video games, etc..)
Yeah; This is where are now…
A world with less & less true social interactions & meaningful exchanges between people
And I’m not even mentioning the Lockdown & Covid in general which clearly played a big role in increasing social anxiety & atrophying most people’s social skills in general through its 2 years of minimal/none social interactions..
Yeah.. Lock down effect is real! (most never recovered)
The Ultimate Guide to Break free from Social Anxiety
What is Social anxiety:
Let’s face it;
Social anxiety is that fear/discomfort you feel in social situations..
Deeper, it’s your nervous system (aka; part of your brain & body that than panics when your stress) going crazy when you’re in social settings
All which makes everyday social situations from doing small talk to doing a presentation (public speaking) feel like high-stakes moments.
It’s like you’re stuck in a mental loop where your brain treats social situations as threats.
And of course; There’s different degrees to it..
For example; some might even feel nervous in the smallest/most basic social situations like running into a neighbor, ordering something from the server/bartender, or even just asking some information from a stranger, etc..
Others on the other hand willl only feel nervous in situations where they feel there’s a strong spotlight on them like a work meeting, or public speaking, etc…
And sometimes, it’s not just about the “degree of spotlight” you feel you’re under, but more about the specific setting or people that trigger the anxiety
For example; You might only be anxious around certain people (these often being those you want approval more/ or see as with higher status/superior, etc..)
Or maybe it is you ‘re fine being around a small group, but freak out when you’re alone with someone (1 on 1) as you feel a pressure to entertain the conversation…
Anyway
There are all different degrees & contexts when it comes to trigger one’s social anxiety
but end of the day.. Same issue.. You shit your pants in social interactions
Where It Really Comes From: The Source
“Social anxiety is your overflow of insecurities, past rejections & hurtful/negative experiences circling at the back of your mind.”
Deeper, Social Anxiety is mostly all a MASSIVE SELF-ESTEEM problem..
Let me explain;
Social anxiety is some kind/sign of “arrested development”
It’s you being critically dependent on external stabilization, self-definition and social direction…
In simpler words, it’s you not really knowing/trusting yourself & being confident enough in “ who you are”. Thus; end up depending on other people to tell you “if you’re okay” & get a sense of self-worth
Just as a child would..
Other people matter too much because your self-image isn't developed enough to supercede them & not give a shit about what they may think you..
It’s not a coincidence if socially anxious people tend at the same time to be “people pleasers”... It just comes down to the same common worries inside their head:
“What if others are mad at me,” What if others don't like me, what if others think lowly of me, what if others reject me, etc..
In short; A lot of you are socially anxious because they care too much about what others may of think of them, which basically cause them to worry too much/try too hard about making a “good impression” (aka; be given the thumbs up)
And that same pressure to "tone themselves down" & “perfom socially” is what creates anxiety as you’re just stuck in your head worrying about X, Y & Z (peak self-consciousness)..
All instead of just being present in the moment, relaxed, just vibing, being yourself & potentially being the one who’s actively filtering people who aligns with your values & who wants the best from you from the ones that don’t
To summarize it:
Social anxiety is a misplaced focus & a result that you do not belong
Deeper, it is belief you are “out of place” and specifically that your insecurities/lack of self-esteem make you (feel) unworthy of being there.
Social anxiety is fear that other will find this out about you ☝️
Shame is felt as a result of that & only exacerbates the anxious effect.