The Charisma Formula
How to Max out your Aura & Become the Person Everyone Respects, and Loves Having Around
Mentalist’s Guide to Max Out your Charisma
Hi Everyone.. We are in a crisis.
Charisma & Social skills in general, might have never been so low in the overall population.
No one dares, nor is able to open/hold a conversation anymore. Social anxiety has reached an unprecedented level
Everyone’s freaks out at the idea of being/sounding awkward. ; Everyone wants to be spoken to, flirted with, teased, and given the opportunity to escape their dull existence, and constant mind noise. Everyone wants to be able to draw attention, have a shit ton of connections, and get others to respect them.
And YET.. Everyone has no clue where/how to start, or are just too terrified to do so.
So they just walk through life instead without ever commanding any kind of attention, or respect, and waiting for something magical to happen.
Now; If you’re in that situation - you might not be the only one to blame for it.
Let me explain.
The Advances in technology obviously played a big role in it..
And same for “Covid” which clearly atrophied our interpersonal skill set through its 2 years of minimal social interactions from which many still didn’t recover.
Worse?
Society simply adapted to this new normal. (Or actually led you to it)
-You can get food delivered
-You can do your shopping online.
-You can find dates on applications
-You can work from your house (remote)
-You can socialize, if you can really call it that way from your house/laptop (social media, video games, etc..)
All this to the extent that some are completely comfortable interacting with others (via screen), but freaks out (social anxiety) to the mere idea of “real” interaction.
Yep; This is where we are now.
Now I’ve got good news & bad news; Let’s start with the bad ones..
The Bad News:
No matter how skilled you are (technical skills), someone even just slightly more charismatic than you will run laps around you.
It’s a fact. People with less than half your skills are, or will achieve ten times more than you, for ONE simple reason. CHARISMA
Listen; IF you want to do anything BIG – Becoming extremely charismatic is an invaluable asset.
If you’re charismatic enough? You can turn shit into gold. And can turn gold into priceless, brilliant, diamonds who shine so brightly that every flaw is overlooked.
Hard truth.
Now don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying you have to be charismatic as hell to succeed..
But no other attribute.. Not IQ.. Not education.. Not Discipline.. & Not strength.. will pay you as much in life as being charismatic
The Good News:
Charisma is a skill - Means it can be developed just like any other skill.
It’s not & never been something innate, or exclusive to a specific type of people/personalities (although may come more natural to some)
In other words; It’s completely up to you to work your way through it, and even more now in a time where interpersonal skills will likely be the biggest differentiator in our soon-to-be-AI dominated society.
Practice.. Practice.. Practice.. It’s the key to become good at anything, charisma included.
And that’s exactly why I put together The Charisma Protocol.
Yep for you reading this..
What is Charisma ?
Let’s face it;
If I had to define Charisma in one sentence..
It would be “The ability to make people feel great” (about themselves, about the world, about everything/ etc..) by being around you/after having spoken to you
A mix of presence, confidence, enthusiasm, curiosity, emotional intelligence, and the ability to express yourself in a way that captivates people & impose respect, and admiration.
It’s just Aura at its peak. Leaders' most common trait - Without it, barely anyone would listen to them, let alone take them seriously no matter how knowledgeable they are..
Empowering Beliefs VS Limiting Beliefs:
Many traits that you think “you are” are simply the result of poor conditioning. Beliefs of yourself that come from your bad habits.
Let me explain.
Let’s say you think: “I’m naturally shy around people” “Charisma is something innate” “I'm simply boring”, etc..
By believing those things, and labeling/framing them that way, chances are you’ll keep acting according to those beliefs you hold of yourself.
Simply put, it fucks you up. Because any effort you’d make towards for example “not being shy” is according to you both UNNATURAL & POINTLESS. Like you’d be fighting your very own NATURE.
Forget that;
Try this instead: “I’m not shy; I’m bad at socializing. ”
Get the difference?
You have a problem, which means you also have a solution. It accepts responsibility by acknowledging the element of “responsibility” in the equation. That is not some curse, but just a deficit you CAN and WILL Fix.
Fact is, you are not X, Y, Z. You’ve just made some traits HABITUAL, when in reality they are NOT.
Rewrite the script. YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR HABITS.
Just through language alone, we separated the issue from being one of CORE IDENTITY into being one of HABITUAL BEHAVIOR.
As humans, we have to pay close attention to what we identify with. Identity might be the biggest mover of behavior.
So be extra careful in the words you use to describe yourself. Words cut deeper than knives. Don’t cut yourself on them.
Introverts VS Extroverts:
Before we go on about Charisma.. Let me settle this very quickly.
Being Introverted, or Extroverted isn’t about being awkward/shy, or charismatic, nor quiet, or loud, etc.
Nope. That’s not the axis they operate on. “It’s actually about how you regenerate batteries & prefer to receive attention”.
Introverts gain more energy being alone.
Extroverts gain more energy being around others.
Introverts prefer INTENSITY of attention:
Contrary to popular belief, it’s introverts that make the best public speakers, musicians, comedians etc. They actually do better being the centre of attention, where they deliver a powerful performance, and then disappear.
Extroverts prefer EXTENSITY of attention:
They’re better at being around, and dealing with people all day long without interruption, because it literally gives them more energy and that’s what they genuinely prefer.
As for charisma?
Again, it’s just a SKILL! It’s not and never was something exclusive to either type, nor to a select few.
Understood? So let’s continue..
Charisma Starts from The Inside: Break The Mental Blocks.
People will tell you to do X, Y, and Z , and Abracadabra.. you'll suddenly become more charismatic.. Like it was some magic pill.
But let’s be serious for a second; If it was the case, if it was that easy, everyone would be charismatic..
Yep. Because tangible/concrete skills aside, to be charismatic you MUST be/feel confident in “who you are”. To be secure with yourself regardless of what others think, or may think.
It is less about tangibles, and more about vibes. It is less about Doing, and more about Being.
Good vibes are magnetic. Your emotions are contagious.
Point is; Before you can start moving towards being charismatic, you MUST get rid of the “factors” blocking your natural charismatic potential:
-Self Consciousness.
-People Pleasing/Validation Seeking.
-Guilt.
-Shame.
-Social Anxiety.
-Low Self-Esteem.
These are all factors literally destroying your aura. Charisma Killers. Low vibrational frequencies.
And the way I see it; Deeper, they all somehow stem from a clear Lack of Self-Esteem.
So what can you do about it?
As cliché as it may be; The ONLY way to build your confidence is still by respecting yourself/your time.
More specifically;
You wanna start doing “meaningful” actions with your time, and by the same occasion remove all actions that make you hate yourself & don't align with who you’d like to be.
Stop going against your promises (to others & yourself).
Stop eating like a pig. Stop watching porn. Stop scrolling endlessly on social media. Stop being addicted to cheap dopamine. Stop fooling around & smoking weed everyday.
Start Exercising & Taking care of your health, and appearance. Start pursuing your goals. Start moving with purpose.
Get rid of all guilt/shame from past experiences & cut all activities that can make you feel guilty, or hurt your self-image in the future.
Idea here is to prove yourself you’re someone of value. To have a stack of undeniable proofs that shows it.
Because at the end of the day..
How do you expect other people to like you, if you don't even like yourself?
Transformation: Start from Level Zero:
“The hardest part of transformation isn't the work; It's the willingness to let go of the person you used to be.”
Listen; I know it’s easy to hold old identities because they're familiar, but real change happens when you’re ready to rewrite who you are from the inside out. Simple as that.
It's about understanding that who you were got you here, but they can't take you where you're going. thank them. honor them. then let them fade into the rearview.
You can wake up tomorrow, get to work, and decide to become a new person with new attributes. Someone else.
And yes, it’s very likely you’ll fail, or at least won’t excel at your first quests.
Chances are there will be awkward situations, words/jokes that don’t have the desired effect, and maybe even rejection, and embarrassment, etc..
But.. That’s the whole point; That’s how you learn & move toward who exactly you wanna be. By failing, learning from your experiences, and then diving right back out there.
The Spotlight Effect:
If you haven't read my work about The Spotlight Effect, I strongly advise you to take some of your time and go through it.
But for now, there are TWO TAKEAWAYS you must keep in mind:
We can think everyone is staring at us, and/or noticing everything about us, but they aren’t.
Even if they do, they forget in a second as they’re more concerned about themselves.
“We suffer more in our imagination than in reality” It’s simply the harsh truth: Most people don’t care about you.
It doesn’t matter if tomorrow you fall on stage, come up with a bad joke, or even go out with ripped pants..
You’re likely to be the only one to obsess over it, or even just remember it in the next hour/days after.
The others? They just don’t care. Just like YOU yourself don’t remember when it’s someone else who got into an embarrassing situation.
It’s just human nature. SELFISH CREATURES - Always thinking about ourselves.
Now let’s get to the concrete stuff..
Practicable Steps to Become more Charismatic: