How to Never Run Out of Things to Say in a Conversation

Practicable Behaviors to Avoid Awkward Blanks & Never Sound Boring Again

Hi Everyone;

Today we're gonna talk about one of the biggest issues when it comes to dealing with people...

You guessed it; I’m talking about ability to open/hold conversations with just anyone (including strangers)

Aka; Being a good conversationalist.

I mean we’ve all already been in that situation where you just don’t know what to say

You just turn your head right, and left as you feel a blank coming, and then you potentially even you blurt anything just to prevent it, and the awkward feeling it usually brings

Worse?

Then you start assuming everyone thinks you’re boring (yourself included), which eventually only makes you more uncomfortable & potentially hurt your self-esteem overtime

All that to say it’s just a situation you’d prefer to avoid.

And not only because it feels awkward, but also because the ability to just open/hold conversation with anyone & make them instantly comfortable being around you will pay you like nothing else

Friends. Network. Relationships. etc..

These just become an inevitable conclusion when you have decent conversation skills.

Now, there’s no need to worry. Everyone can become a good conversationalist with the right advice, some effort & a bit of practice.

And that, regardless of any predisposition, or personality traits..

This WHY here I’ll give you 5 behaviors that will help you never run out of things to say in conversation:

NB:

Good thing with these behaviors is you need to become aware of them , and put them to enough practice, and they’ll become instinctive over time.

Key word? Practice

Read that again. Now let’s start..

1. Embrace Small Talk:

Let’s start by the beginning;

One of the biggest mistake that keeps you from being able to open/hold a conversation decently (especially with strangers) is you thinking you/a conversation necessarily have to be/sound deep, meaningful, or smart especially from the get go

Nah that should/will happen naturally

But you can’t build rapport without first breaking the ice.

And that's what small talk is there for.

Because contrary to what many may think these days;

Small talk isn’t fake, boring, or even useless. Nah; Small talk is basically your ticket to deeper conversations.

Let me explain

Small talk is basically a short ritual that allow people's nervous system to regulate in the presence of another human being, before they can begin to open up (including you)

A way of saying “we’re the same. It’s a fact; People simply need that “initial contact”

So HOW do you do it exactly?

Simple; Most of the time you should simply focus on trivial, light, universal, subjects..

Call them whatever you want as long as they’re easy to agree/talk about & they allow you to jump from one idea to another, thus keep the conversation going

Don’t overthink it; environment (setting), weather, sports, music, etc..

They ALL work.

For the rest just comes down to practice - Just like any skill. So practice. practice. practice.. At every damn occasion.

You get into a taxi? Talk with the driver. You go get a new haircut? Exchange a few words with your hairdresser. Same goes for barman, neighbor, etc..

I know it might seem difficult for some of you at least at first, but you’ll notice it becomes much easier overtime.

After all, when it comes to dealing with people in general, situations simply tend to repeat themselves.

The more you put yourself in social settings, the more easily you’re able to recognize the patterns

Plus; If just got a smile on your face, and a positive energy, you already did half the job

So remember AVOIDANCE is your worst enemy.

Understood?

Here’s a quick example so you can visualise it:

2) Pay attention:

This one might NUMBER 1 reason most people (including you) crumble, and never know what to say in conversations..

You’re not really paying attention to others (complete active listening)

I know it might not sound like actionable advice at first.. Until you realize most people don’t. They barely hear words while they prepare/worry about what they’re gonna say next.

That’s the lack of presence/Self consciousness (focus inward) - Right there

Understand - charismatic people aren’t stuck in their head, worrying about every little detail - like the impression they give, or if others are satisfied/entertained

Nah; Bad idea.

This - ultimately just keeps you from being present, and true to yourself

Deeper, it is often just your lack of self esteem making noise at the back.

Now; I won’t just tell you to forget that & be yourself -No, that would be dishonest..

First because it’s not so easy especially since telling yourself to stop being nervous is usually a bad idea (makes you more self conscious)

And secondly; Being yourself might not currently be the best advice, at least if you’re current self just don’t say word whenever there’s people around

So your goal instead?

Pay attention to the person/people in front by showing “genuine interest” in them.

Or more specifically; By asking thoughtful questions about them & their lives & listening actively to their answer

Why? Because then, and only then you’ll likely always have something to say.

And that’s the reason why so many people are literally blown away at social/conversation skills that just magically pop up from them whenever they have some drinks (alcohol)..

Like they can keep a conversation going for days - Just like that

Again it’s simply because they’re not stuck in their head worrying about what to say, or how they gonna be perceived – No, they’re just present (focus outward)

Which, eventually allows their “natural social abilities” to kick in assuming they’re not 100% socially inept (rarely the case)

Point is, instead of relying on alcohol (not such a good idea), you can do that by paying attention. Be interested. Ask questions. Listen actively. Use you EYE.

That’s not only the best way not to run out of things to say, but it’s also best way build rapport and make people feel great being around you

Like Dale Carnegie said in his famous book: “To be interesting, be interested”

Simple as that. (even more valid these day where everyone’s self-absorbed):